With my career life relatively stable (at least for 6 months), I’m now focusing on straightening out the other aspects of my life: financial, relationship, and my physical health.
Finances…YIKES! Man, I don’t really recommend being unemployed for anyone. Because of cut off periods, I only got one pay cheque in October and it was only a half sized one. So I had to borrow money from my mom (more and more), to cover me until my next pay cheque. Which means I essentially have to pay two rents in the month of November, which means I’m looking at another broke-ass month. And then I end up with 3 pay cheques in December, but with presents and parties (for friends and families), I doubt I’ll have much left over. It is so friggin depressing to look ahead and know that I won’t be comfortable again until January at the earliest. I don’t want to be a broke student anymore!
Relationships…hmmm. On the friendship side of things, I’m still looking for that best friend to click with. I had high hopes for the girl who was on her honeymoon, but so far no “friend spark”. Oh well, I guess. And with the boyfriend, I was having worries. He’s in Education and is incredibly busy this semester. As in, he comes home and goes to the office to do homework all night. I’ve been getting really resentful about doing all the laundry and cleaning around the house, including his underwear (that’s love) and I really haven’t felt any support or appreciation for the work. We had a talk this past weekend and he said that he hasn’t felt any appreciation either. So we were kind of caught in a really bad place. We talked it out and things are a bit better but while he’s being really cuddly and needy, I’m still feeling kind of distant towards him. I don’t know how to interpret what that means. I’m really hoping it’s just a phase that I’m in right now!
Physical….CRAP! I got weighed at a clinic this week and it wasn’t pretty. As I got on the scale, there was a split second moment where I thought “hmm, maybe I shouldn’t look” but unfortunately I did. So I’m resolving to not get this heavy ever again. I have huge issues with self-esteem and body image. I’m not obese and even though I’m only 18 pounds over the weight I want to be at, I still feel absolutely disgusting most days. So I’m making a stand, and announcing it to you that this is IT. I’m making a change. I’m going to start working out. I spent a lot of time (you might say too much) at work creating a workout plan for myself to start on Friday. I have a 2 week pass for the YMCA, so tomorrow on my day off I’m going to go check it out. I really want to lose 8 pounds before Christmas, so I’ve made a 7 week plan. It’s a bit intense, considering I’m going from now work outs to working out 5 days a week, but I’m feeling really motivated. I’ve found a gym near work, I have 2 weeks free, and I have my awesome plan, so I’m feeling pretty positive. I hope that this time, the lifestyle change actually sticks. Wish me luck!!
Oh yeah, my 1001 goals are coming soon. They’re on PL’s computer, and I was about halfway finished. I’m looking forward to having them as a motivation tool!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The Power of Praise…
So today I realized the power of praise, or lack of it.
Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve always been loved at my jobs. No matter what I did, I always did it well and my bosses gave credit for that.
So I had no reason to suspect that it would be any different with the organization I did my practicum at. However things did not go nearly how I expected.
To say my boss was absent would be the most accurate description. Even the first week I started, she was on vacation. She was too busy to give me any feedback, which I so desperately needed in my first post-college job. Every time I did something, I got no positive feedback. When I got them, reactions to my work were basically “well this is what I expected of you but you need to do better”. I never felt appreciated, and was given no guidelines for improvement. At the point when my practicum was finished and we were deciding my future, the best thing she could say was that I was professional. Gee, don’t hold yourself back. I wanted to hear her say “we’d love to keep you here” and what she actually said was “what do you want to do”. So when I finally quit in August, I had reached the point where I hated coming to work and felt totally incompetent.
Today, at my wonderful EPS job, I was given the task of designing a one page flyer on Halloween Safety. I was told to include the address, EPS crest, and safety tips. From there, I built a totally awesome page that everyone in the office was oooing and awing over. I was told by a senior PR person that I had “great design skills” and my boss said it looked “terrific”. And then it occurred to me that it had seriously been over a year since I felt complimented in my work. My teachers at school never really gave me high praise. And my boss at my practicum only gave negative feedback.
I didn’t write this to be a show off; merely to illustrate how I went from having confidence in my abilities to being completely full of self doubts. I am glad every day that I left the organization.
Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve always been loved at my jobs. No matter what I did, I always did it well and my bosses gave credit for that.
So I had no reason to suspect that it would be any different with the organization I did my practicum at. However things did not go nearly how I expected.
To say my boss was absent would be the most accurate description. Even the first week I started, she was on vacation. She was too busy to give me any feedback, which I so desperately needed in my first post-college job. Every time I did something, I got no positive feedback. When I got them, reactions to my work were basically “well this is what I expected of you but you need to do better”. I never felt appreciated, and was given no guidelines for improvement. At the point when my practicum was finished and we were deciding my future, the best thing she could say was that I was professional. Gee, don’t hold yourself back. I wanted to hear her say “we’d love to keep you here” and what she actually said was “what do you want to do”. So when I finally quit in August, I had reached the point where I hated coming to work and felt totally incompetent.
Today, at my wonderful EPS job, I was given the task of designing a one page flyer on Halloween Safety. I was told to include the address, EPS crest, and safety tips. From there, I built a totally awesome page that everyone in the office was oooing and awing over. I was told by a senior PR person that I had “great design skills” and my boss said it looked “terrific”. And then it occurred to me that it had seriously been over a year since I felt complimented in my work. My teachers at school never really gave me high praise. And my boss at my practicum only gave negative feedback.
I didn’t write this to be a show off; merely to illustrate how I went from having confidence in my abilities to being completely full of self doubts. I am glad every day that I left the organization.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The wait is over and other news…
So I finally heard from G2 yesterday morning, 2 1/2 weeks after my second interview. Her voice didn't sound very upbeat in the message, which surprised me because I thought that I had definitely nailed it. I called her back and she told me that "due to internal structuring" the position has been "eliminated". She basically told me that I would have been offered the job if it was still available and that they will be keeping my resume on file to contact me if another position comes up. I told her that I had already accepted a temporary position with the City. After I got off the phone call, I was just incredibly relieved that I didn't "risk it" and hold out for the G2 job. Can you imagine? I say no to the Edmonton Police Service job for and job that got phased out? Thankfully, I not only accepted the EPS job but I love it! So far so good…not too many "admin" duties and almost daily PR duties. I still really like the job and the people I work with!
I'm on the hunt for a new hair stylist. The one I've been going to for years went on mat leave and is supposed to return in November. Yet when my mom called (we go to the same woman), the receptionist said that she was not there. Though the odds of a receptionist being left out of the loop (though everyone expects them to know everything!) are pretty high, if she's right and my stylist isn't coming back, I have to find a new one. Right now I'm growing out my hair and I won't need a stylist for a few more months (I'm pushing myself to grow it at least until February at the earliest!). But the day will come when I need one. I hate finding a new hair stylist. It's almost worse than finding a family doctor (I'll have to find a new one in a few years too!). Actually, I think it is worse because if you get a bad stylist, everyone sees your ugly hair for the 6 - 8 weeks until you can do something with it! So if you have an experience hair stylist who you love, please send me the info!
I'm so broke right now and it's depressing the hell out of me. Today is PL's birthday and I don't even have money for a card for him. I'm writing him a letter and baking him a cake (actually, it's going to be Birthday Banana Bread) but I feel so bad for not being able to do anything else for him. We aren't having the birthday party until the 24th, and luckily I get a paycheque (though it's only a half one…I started at the worst time!) that week. So at least I'll be able to buy him a present for that. I need a whole bunch of work clothing too, and I won't be able to get that until November. I will have to cut down on how much I spend on people for Christmas this year too. I basically won't be out of the red for a very long time. Maybe I should start buying lottery tickets...
I'm on the hunt for a new hair stylist. The one I've been going to for years went on mat leave and is supposed to return in November. Yet when my mom called (we go to the same woman), the receptionist said that she was not there. Though the odds of a receptionist being left out of the loop (though everyone expects them to know everything!) are pretty high, if she's right and my stylist isn't coming back, I have to find a new one. Right now I'm growing out my hair and I won't need a stylist for a few more months (I'm pushing myself to grow it at least until February at the earliest!). But the day will come when I need one. I hate finding a new hair stylist. It's almost worse than finding a family doctor (I'll have to find a new one in a few years too!). Actually, I think it is worse because if you get a bad stylist, everyone sees your ugly hair for the 6 - 8 weeks until you can do something with it! So if you have an experience hair stylist who you love, please send me the info!
I'm so broke right now and it's depressing the hell out of me. Today is PL's birthday and I don't even have money for a card for him. I'm writing him a letter and baking him a cake (actually, it's going to be Birthday Banana Bread) but I feel so bad for not being able to do anything else for him. We aren't having the birthday party until the 24th, and luckily I get a paycheque (though it's only a half one…I started at the worst time!) that week. So at least I'll be able to buy him a present for that. I need a whole bunch of work clothing too, and I won't be able to get that until November. I will have to cut down on how much I spend on people for Christmas this year too. I basically won't be out of the red for a very long time. Maybe I should start buying lottery tickets...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Still Waiting...
Unbelievably enough, I still haven’t heard from G2…13 days after my second interview. I was told they’d call me either way by Wednesday at the latest.
I’m so glad I accepted the Edmonton Police Service job. I started on Tuesday and it was actually a fun day. It started with my I.D., then a mug-shot, then fingerprinting, then a tour. Everyone was so excited and positive on my first day, which really made me feel guilty for thinking that as soon as I got the offer from G2, I’d be leaving (and at the time I though that I would definitely take the G2 job, and that I’d definitely hear from them on Wednesday). But with each day here, I feel less and less interested in the G2 job and more and more excited about the City job. Originally, the position was supposed to be mostly administrative, but because of my education, the entire department wants to use me. My boss even said that once I’m more immersed into my PR duties, she’s going to talk to HR about getting me more money, too! There is Media Relations and Public Affairs, and I get to help with both of those departments.
I have almost started to hope that I won’t even be offered the G2 position, so that I don’t have to make a choice between the two. It’s not that I don’t want the G2 position; I just don’t want to have to make a decision, a decision that I could potentially regret down the road.
I’m so glad I accepted the Edmonton Police Service job. I started on Tuesday and it was actually a fun day. It started with my I.D., then a mug-shot, then fingerprinting, then a tour. Everyone was so excited and positive on my first day, which really made me feel guilty for thinking that as soon as I got the offer from G2, I’d be leaving (and at the time I though that I would definitely take the G2 job, and that I’d definitely hear from them on Wednesday). But with each day here, I feel less and less interested in the G2 job and more and more excited about the City job. Originally, the position was supposed to be mostly administrative, but because of my education, the entire department wants to use me. My boss even said that once I’m more immersed into my PR duties, she’s going to talk to HR about getting me more money, too! There is Media Relations and Public Affairs, and I get to help with both of those departments.
I have almost started to hope that I won’t even be offered the G2 position, so that I don’t have to make a choice between the two. It’s not that I don’t want the G2 position; I just don’t want to have to make a decision, a decision that I could potentially regret down the road.
Friday, October 3, 2008
2 Offers & Waiting...
So I was offered the Event Planner position with MacEwan. And as much as I want to be an event planner and get event planning experience, the job was part time and required flexibility (as in, don't get another job) Hello, this is Alberta and there is no way I can live on a part time income. I'll get my event planning chance later, I know it.
After lots of thinking and lots of friend-input (over margaritas at Julio's on Whyte), I've decided to be cut-throat. I have accepted the City of Edmonton job today (just waiting to hear back about details). However, if I am offered the G2 job next Wednesday, I will quit the City job. As my friends (and even my dad, of all people!) said, the organization is looking out for what's best for the organization. So I have to look out for what's best for me. And if I feel that the G2 job is what's best, I have to take it. But not at the chance of being unemployed. That said, I still feel incredibly guilty about accepting a job knowing that I'd leave it if I got a better offer.
If I don't get the G2 job, I will keep looking. Ultimately, this City job is only 6 months. I just want to find a great job that I can stay at for a few years.
How come being a grown-up is so hard?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Crap...it's finally happened
So today I got two phone calls...one from the City and one from MacEwan for the event planner position (the one I was sure was a total crash-and-burn!). The City offered the job to me. I'm still incredibly excited about the G2 position so I called them to find out when they will be making their decision. I was told that I'd hear about the G2 job by next Wednesday. My follow-up phone call made a good impression but as soon as I got off the phone with the G2 woman, I started worrying.
Here's my dilemma...I've been offered a job with the City of Edmonton. Though it's temporary, once you're "in" with the City, they usually try to help you stay "in". While it's probably more admin work than I'd like, I'd still be working very closely with a high up person in the corporate communications department. Because they know I've done the PR diploma, they'd probably be more likely to give me other things to work on. I think it would still be a great experience. The money is okay, not great, and let's face it, the headquarters aren't in the best neighbourhood (um Edmonton's downtown east...yikes!). And with G2, it would be permanent, good money, fun creative atmosphere, better location, more areas for advancement. But I won't know anything until next Wednesday and I have to tell the City my decision tomorrow morning. I am really unsure right now. I'm definitely way more excited for the G2 position but I'm not sure if it's enough to pass up a decent job with the City. I was so worried I'd be put in this position and sure enough, it's finally happened. I've been unemployed for 1 month and 2 days and I'm definitely ready to work again, but I am just so uncertain about where!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
